(Broken down by astrological sign, of course. Yours, not theirs.)

Did you read your horoscope today?

Whether it’s in a daily free newspaper, a popular astrology website, or an app, checking your horoscope is a ritual bordering on religion for many.

Makes sense: in a society where traditional religious belief is declining, it’s a way to make sense of a world that seems more insane every day. It’s something that connects us to something bigger — the cosmos.

It also feeds into today’s narcissistic ways (“But how will Mercury Retrograde affect ME?”) and lends us endless excuses for bad behaviour (trust me, I’m a pity-partying Pisces).

Anyway, ya’ll have been reading up on your astrology a whole bunch — just saying.

But…who else’s horoscope do you read? Your parents’? Your best friend’s? Your pet’s? Your significant other’s? Probably.

What about your ex’s?

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